Talking with your Family About Prostate Cancer
Each person will react differently when they learn that a loved one has cancer. Some react angrily, others are shocked and deny the possibility when first told. There is no right way to tell your family of the news, but the best way for a family to deal with their feelings is to share them.
This is especially hard for men, who by nature bottle up their feelings. Some men feel it is a sign of weakness to express feelings of fear or uncertainty. It will be best for you and your loved ones if you drop your guard a bit, and tell them how you feel. In the long run it will make your family stronger.
Be ready for anything. No one wants to face their own mortality. Often when an elderly parent is sick, that is the first time an adult child is faced with their own mortality. Feelings of impending loss and self pity may just overwhelm them. You may have to console them for a awhile at a time when you may need consolation yourself. Be sure to talk!
How can my family Help?
If you can muster up the courage, ask your family members and friends to help you. It will help them to cope as well as you. Your family wants to help and support, but they probably don't know how. You know your family members' individual strengths--use them. If one is very organized, have them help you with legal and/or money issues. During this time, your strength may be low, and your time valuable, so don't be afraid to ask them to help with the mundane things like cleaning, laundry or yard work.
Get Answers for Them
If your loved ones have questions, write them down, or have one of them go to the doctor with you. Be sure to ask those questions, and write down the response. They may have questions about your treatment options that will open up a whole new dialogue with your doctor. That benefits everyone!
If your prostate cancer is more advanced, you may be at home or in the hospital for a long stay. Your life is interrupted, and you may feel useless, frustrated or develop "cabin fever". Try to set up individual times for family members to come visit you to help pass the time. It will be quality time for you and your loved ones. But don't overdo yourself. If you are too tired to visit, have them come back later. Bottom line: If you let your loved ones help, you will help them and yourself. You will have more time to focus on healing.
Involve Them In Your Treatment
Learn about prostate cancer together. Help each other learn. Discuss options, treatments, side effects, and risks. Informed relatives can be a pillar of strength for you at a time when you may need it. They love you and want to help, so be sure to allow them.
Don't Ignore Legal and Money Issues
When diagnosed with prostate cancer, you need to concentrate on getting better, and coping with the rough road ahead. But, you must not ignore plans and legal issues if things do not go well. You should talk with your doctor about how you want to be treated if the cancer advances substantially. It is also a good idea to speak with the hospital social worker or a legal advisor about this issue to make sure that your wishes are carried out.
Your family may be facing the possibility for the first time that its structure will change. This can sometimes lead to bickering between siblings which can add more stress to your already stressful life. Common topics of angst include money and legal issues. Let your wishes be known, and take the time to get your affairs in order. It will help you and your loved ones in the long run. You will be a stronger person for it.
